In this time of fiscal uncertainty, there is one tax that parents all around are more than happy to get behind.  This tax, called the Parent Tax, is a tax on all consumed goods by children and that allows up to one parent to take a single bite or swallow of any food or drink item.  This tax is doubled if the parent was directly responsible for the child’s access to the food item, known also as a Handling Tax or Opening Fee.  Like all good rules, there are exceptions.  Tax exempt foods are any food items received as a gift and not designated for group consumption (a individual box of See’s Candy would be exempt for example) or items that are small enough that one bite or swallow would render them significantly compromised.  In addition, children who purchase food items with their own money earned from a weekly allowance or from can petition for a tax exemption on their goods

To collect this tax, the parent must declare their intentions upon first encountering the taxable object.  This must also occur before the child has consumed 25% of the item to insure that the tax is not exorbitant amount.  At any point in the taxation process, either side my call for arbitration from a 3rd party or protest the taxation with no more than one gentle tap and foot stops not to exceed 3 in any one minute period.  There are variations of this tax in almost every municipality so check with local specifics.

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